Visiting rights

I had not seen Tamara for four months ,though I had visiting rights of one hour a week . She was supposed to bring her to the family counselling office and i see Tamara there for one hour every saturday afternoon. How could the Judge grant me only one hour a week i wondered if he was a family man or most probably he had no children and had no insight in father's love and for his child. Are father's considered incapable of love and taking care of their babies. Why would a mother be given 167 hours a week to be with the child and the father only one hour a week. Do they forget that i fathered the child that i should be given same rights too. I wonder how many fathers go through similar unfair circumstances. Sara disrespected the court verdict and she believed she is above the law. I was dying to see my baby and she was punishing me what a horrible woman! She filed for temporarily monthly allowance for her and the baby and she was granted. Now I regularly pay her but she is very selfish and won't let me see my baby.Every week I take a letter from the family counsel office that she did not bring the baby and submit it to the courts and they give me another letter addressed to the police which orders them to call her to bring the baby. She answers them that she is living in Ajman with her aunt and has no transportation to come to Dubai. The police later gives me a letter which goes to the Judge and with a lot of persuasion the Judge agrees to give me an arrest warrant for her. Unfortunately by the time you get the paper work done the legality of the arrest warrant is null and void as the visiting right period of one month is over. It is a lengthy confusing procedure , at this point you wish you studied law, life would have been much easier. The following weekend I decided to go to Bahrain and see some friends.It was very heart breaking to wait every week to see your daughter and then you never get to see her. It is physically and mentally exhausting. Bahrain was fun despite all the problems you see on tv life is still the same in this fun loving city.We went out for dinner and clubbing, next day we spent the day at the beach we had a lovely time and late evening I came back to Dubai.It was a great weekend at least I did not have to go through the suspense again. My father went to the family council but Sara did not bring Tamara as usual. My family had a little of drama over the weekend our new Sri Lankan house boy slashed his wrist and nearly bled to death the timely arrival of the paramedics saved his life. He had a major surgery to block the bleeding and after his stay in the hospital he was sent back home.We never knew why he did it I guess he was depressed thank God he slashed his own wrist and not someone else's.

Breaking in the house

On the way back from the police station I decided to stop at my villa and put on the air conditions as that evening a very good friend of mine was coming from the States .I call my friend double "m" or mad man. He was my roommate when I was studying in Los Angeles. We become very good friends and I visit him every year and he has visited me a couple of times the last time he came I was married to Sara and we just had a baby. He was in love with Tamara usually he finds small babies ugly but he said for the first time he has seen a beautiful baby.He was so bestowed with Tamara that we had to drag him out of the house. I opened the door of my villa and was shocked to see the house in a mess. There was juices spilled on the floor,the sofas were slashed most probably with a knife,the curtains were on the floor all torn in pieces. My beautiful and expensive painting was punctured into many holes. I walked to the kitchen there was broken pieces of glasses everywhere whoever was here meant to really damage my property. I saw a cigarette butt in the sink and chewing gum in a glass in the sink, immediately I knew the culprit. I called 999 and in a few minutes the police and CID were at my house.Upstairs all the curtains were ripped,all my clothes were cut in pieces, my designer jeans and T-Shirts were all cut, the dishdashas were torn too . My expensive shoes were slashed and funny enough even my mattresse was slashed. The CID took fingerprints and photos of all the damage . They asked me if I had any idea who has done this. I told them that it was definitely my wife, she is the only one capable of such destruction. Also she had warned me that she would come to the house and show me what she could do . They told me that whoever came to the house came through the sliding door and that I did not put the latch on the door so it was easier for the person to break in. I informed my parents of the latest incident and my mother cautioned me not to sleep in the house alone as she is capable of harming me. I picked up my friend at the airport and we went straight to my place . He was shocked and said only a lunatic can do such a thing and mad man and me spent hours cleaning and mopping the floor.Mad Man could not believe that Sara could do such a thing but he said she is dangerous and is capable of anything. We locked our doors making sure all the slide doors were secured . In the morning I got a message from Sara " I am proud at what I have done and this is just the beginning you are dealing with a tough cookie go to your mama and cry baby"

Sara's Revenge

I came back from my vacation relaxed and prayed that there will be no drama from Sara. Had I known her plans in advance I would have extended my stay in Uk. The day I got back at work she called and started shouting at me for reporting her to the police regarding her filthy messages. I told her that I had warned her to stop but she did not listen. She threatened to teach me a lesson and will come to my house very soon. I laughed and did not take her seriously. Underestimating her was a big mistake on my part.


Next day I was busy at my desk preparing a presentation for my boss and to my surprise I saw Sara walking towards me. I wished the earth would open and swallow me, do not misunderstand me I was not afraid of Sara but I was sure she would do something to embarrass me in front of my colleagues. She started shouting at me and to avoid any confrontation in front of others I asked her to walk outside so we could talk privately. We stood outside the main building and I asked her what brought her to my office. She started pulling my hagal and hothra and she said that I was not worth the sole of her foot.That I was the worst man on earth and she would be happy to see me dead. She demanded her divorce and wanted me to provide her an apartment and a maid. She said she was tired of baby sitting. I told her to return my baby, she said over her dead body. She continued cursing me and pulling and pushing me. Two staff members who just parked their car walked towards us and one of them tried to calm her down and told her that she should behave like a lady.She started shouting and cursing him too. She came back for me and this time she punched and tried to bite me. I was trying my best to avoid her attacks with one hand and used the other hand to hold my phone and call the police. We were a fantastic show to the office staff becausea they could see us through the big glass windows. Some of my collegeus came out to my rescue and they had to literally come between us to prevent her grabbing and punching me. The security staff ordered her to leave the office compound immediately or they will call the police. She was like a wild cat and totally out of control . They walked me inside the building and she got in the car and exhilarated on full speed and left everyone gasping.

I made "Breaking news "in the office and most of my friends cracked jokes about the whole thing. One British guy told me he was kicked out of his flat by his girlfriend and she threw all his belongings from the balcony and he had to bear this with a smile in front of the neighbors .Another guy narrated how his wife fought and shouted at him in the early hours of the morning disturbing the neighbors until they called the cops.

I decided to go and report her to the police so that she would not do it again . I drove to the police station wondering what else could she do. She seemed very unstable and her behavior was not normal,I did not think she was capable of taking care of of Tamara.I gave a statement at the police station and two guys from the office gave their statements as witnesses.
Though I joked about the incident I was really embarrassed that my wife behaved like a lunatic infront of my colleagues .This was just the beginning of revenge Sara had more surprises for me.....

Sara's short visit to the house

The police called me and said Sara has a court order to come to the house and take her personal things. I told them that her belongings are already packed and I will arrange a driver to deliver them wherever she wants the policeman insisted that she should come home. I thought that was strange why would someone be given a court order to collect her stuff when she was still my wife. She made a serious mistake in walking out but now she is permitted to collect her stuff despite the fact that we were still married. I can understand if this order was given after a divorce. I told them to come in the evening as I was still at work.

I called my mother's sister and she and her husband decided to come and be around when Sara came to the house. My parents and aunty advised me not to stay in the house as she could be difficult and might say something that would provoke me .At exactly 7PM they rang the bell , my uncle opened the door and the policeman showed him the court order,then Sara walked into the house accompanied by her sister and two other friends.She ignored my uncle and auntie and did not greet anyone and just walked around the house opening each and every cupboard checking if her stuff was still there. My aunt told her that all her things were in the cartoon boxes ,she answered "I am not talking to you". So my aunt was compelled to keep quiet and just watched her. She opened the fridge , freezer, kitchen cabinets they wondered if she was going to take frozen meat or chicken.

She went upstairs again and saw the wedding dress and she pulled it from the rack and with a smuck on her face looked challenging at my aunt. My poor aunt just watched her and did not tell her anything she just wondered if one does not want to stay in the marriage why would she take the wedding dress. Certainly it would bring back bad memories ,unless she was so desperate and maybe she wanted to sell it.

After a few rounds in the house she finally collected her cartons and piled them in the cars. What a joke she came in with only two suitcases and left with several cartons.When they were leaving my aunt told the policeman that Sara should open the boxes to make sure she had everything and sign that she has received all her stuff. She completely refused and said she will go home to check if anything was missing.

It was a relief when she left my aunt and uncle locked the doors and then called  to inform me of what happened. I was happy it was over. I was happy she took her stuff and she will have no excuse for coming to the house again .Good riddance of bad rubbish.

Next day she sent a message that most of her things were missing and accused my mother and sisters of stealing her belongings. She threatened to take them to the courts ,I could not stop laughing at this woman. Has she gone bezerk? What did she want from my family?; She came with hardly anything and my mother had to buy her the wedding dress and the jewelry to match. Who would want to steal any of her things? I believed she made up the story of things missing and that is why she refused to check her stuff as requested so as to make these allegations in the hope of being compensated. How low can one get? I just ignored her messages and did not reply her.I have had my fill of her and did not want to have any communication with her.

She kept texting me, somtimes cursing me and my family ,and then she turned 360 degrees and professed her love for me. I ignored and did not respond to any of her text messages and so more curses came my way. She used very filthy words.I could not believe that she could use such dirty vocabulary . I had never heard such filthy and crude words in my entire life coming from a woman, let alone from Sara, the woman I was married to. This was a great shock!. She continued sending messages all night and in the morning I was fed up so I decided to file a case against her. I did not want to be harassed by her day in and day out, She had to be stopped. I went to the Police to file a case against her and was very embarrassed to show them the messages. Worst of all, a police woman was going to take down the notes, I constantly kept apologizing to her. She was very professional about it and in a short time I completed all the formalities .

Over and done, I decided to get out of the country for a few days and flew over to London and Glascow to see some of my friends. I needed a breath of fresh air, be somewhere where I could forget everything and just be myself again.

I miss my daughter

My life had changed drastically, I was once a happily married man with a lovely daughter and now I was becoming a bitter  lonely man. I could not comprehend what had happened, my life was upside down. The love of my life, the woman I adored ,the woman I fought for to marry, walked out on me. One minute I was giddy with happiness just floating up there in the sky like a hot air balloon and all of a sudden I came crushing down. I felt like I was cursed I kept asking myself did I wrong someone? Did I deserve this?

I spent most of my free time with my friends . I just wanted to be with people who made me laugh and forget what happened even temporarily. I spent a lot of time with Ali, he was a funny character and was always making jokes. Ali is originally from Yemen and he is the only one of my friends who is happily married. He has married his cousin a lovely girl who was lively,  full of fun and very content. They were married for ten years and had three handsome boys. A few years ago Fatma was diagnosed with breast cancer and had macestomy  She was a very brave woman and went through all her treatment with a smile on her face. She had great faith in Allah and never for a moment questioned why it was her and not someone else. Because she had great Eman she recuperated quickly and with the Grace of Allah became well and much stronger. Fatma, like me, could not understand what happened to Sara. Fatma wanted to talk to her but I was against it because as far as I am concerned, it was too late. Sara made bad decisions and took wrong steps which are irreversible. I told Fatma that this was our problem and we will solve it ourselves.


I think Sara was living with Rana in the springs.When Rasheed divorced Rana,  he was instructed by the courts to pay for her accommodation and also a certain allowance for her and the baby. Rashed made a hasty decision to divorce her so now he is paying for her upkeep . The worst part Rana was making it very difficult for Rasheed to see his son. Every time he would go back to the courts and he just got fed up of it all . He told her Saif was his son and one day will come to look for him and he did not like her dirty games. When Sara was with me she tried to persuade Rana to let Rasheed see his son but Rana made it very difficult. Now l was sure Sara will play the same game with me . It was in their blood to be mean and torture a guy until he comes down to his knees.


A month passed and I did not see Tamara. I asked my lawyer to take the necessary steps so I could see my daughter. He asked me to hang on a little as he had another strategy . Sara was flooding me with messages mostly cursing me and now it was my parents. She said that my parents were hypocrites , they pretended to love her but never did and it was good that she found out in the early years of our marriage. I thought this girl had gone bananas, how could she dare say that when my parents were always very supportive and did everything to make her comfortable? They took care of Tamara anytime she asked them and brought her gifts, sent her maids to help her in her house etc etc .She was very ungrateful and short sighted.

After work I went to the gym, the workout exhausted me and helped me sleep soundly. It was work , gym , out with friends, visiting family , dessert trips , boat trips anything to make me busy so as not to think of Tamara. Every room that I walked in reminded me of Sara and Tamara so one weekend I brought cartons and boxes and put all Sara clothes, shoes, make up, perfumes, fashion jewellery after all,she had already taken all precious and real jewellery when she left.. I spent all weekend putting all her things in the boxes. Everything! All the stuff that I bought her , what my parents brought her and what she bought with my money because she never worked when we were married. They were several boxes and it took me the whole weekend to remove her stuff. I removed all our wedding pictures and was tempted to tear the photos but then decided to put them in a folder for Tamara so I left them in the library .I did not leave even one lipstick I just did not want to see anything in the house which would remind me of her.I left only the wedding dress which came from the dry cleaners I thought of giving it to my sisters maybe they could give it to any one in need. Maybe it will be useful to someone who cannot afford a beautiful dress.

The following weekend I packed some of Tamara's things and just left a few toys and her bed. Most of the time I kept her room closed so I would not be reminded of her. The house looked empty but I felt better, it was like my bachelor days. I was now psychologically prepared to face whatever would happen , nothing could be worst,we will have to wait and see what will happen.

Sara asks for Divorce

Sara called and asked for a divorce . I told her that I will not divorce her and she should return my daughter.

Everybody at home was very sad because Tamara was not at home My mother was crying nonstop as if she literally lost someone. It was a very sad situation . I missed my daughter terribly but pretended that I was ok .I would wake up in the night hearing her voice ,her cries and her laughter. Everywhere I went in the house there was something to remind me of her either her toys, shoes, pram and the countless dummies or pacifiers . I could smell her , you know the after bath smell of powder and cologne or the smell of milk she burbed . Now I missed the smell of number two though I used to block my nose if I had to change her nappeis. I missed everything about her. I was restless,sleepless and was very exhausted .My chest was always congested and at times felt out of breath . I could not concentrate at work , thank God I had a very considerate boss and he was very concerned about my problems.

My parents got their strength and patience from reading a lot of Quran and duas. They would wake up at 2.00 am or 3.00 am and stay up till fajeer prayers. My sisters and brothers were all very upset. The house had been lively with the laughter and cries of a baby and now it was very quiet. Everybody used to rush home to play with Tamara. Even the maids were very sad and every time they were in tears.

We all wondered how Sara coped with Tamara because when she was at home she depended on the maid or my family to take care of Tamara. Also, Sara liked to sleep in late and Tamara was an early riser . We all worried Tamara was not being given proper care but there was not much I could do.

My lawyer advised me not to grant her a divorce and let her seek the divorce from courts, in doing so ,she will not be eligible for "maintenance". I am not against women and believe they should have rights as men,but if a woman wants to walk out on a marriage then she should be willing to forfeit the maintenance and other expenses. If she is brave enough to take this action than she should be smart enough to stand on her own two feet. Nothing comes easy in this world ,we work hard to earn so it is not easy to have somone living off you like a parasite.

Sara thrived on opening court cases, she never ceased to amaze me. She accused me of beating her which was dismissed. She was not happy so she raised another case for delaying handing over the child to her. With my lawyer, we were able to get the case dismissed too. Now Sara finished her cards so she started sending me text messages and cursing me and calling me all names under the sun. She used the dirtiest ,filthiest words, I was too ashamed to show the messages to anyone. Some were so dirty that they were only suitable for an x-rated movie.I wondered now how I could have lived with such a woman, I thought I knew her but I guess I did not. My grandmother's famous proverb " Be cautious of a purring cat,remember it has sharp claws too" came to mind. My grandmother had told me to take my time to know Sara better before I got married but I had brushed all her worldly wisdom aside because I believed then that it was not applicable to me as I knew Sara very well.Now I realize what my grandmother meant because unfortunately,Sara had only showed her sweet side but now her sharp claws were out  and were painful. Hind sight is twenty- twenty and I now I regret the day I met her. My parents had seen through her, this was what they meant when they told me to marry someone of my own standard and class.I now realized that besides her good looks, Sara and I, had nothing in common. She was very uncivilized and crude and now I am paying dearly for my mistake.All that glitters is not gold, sometimes it is......

A night at a six star hotel

I dropped the car at a car park and called my father's PRO to come and collect me. I waited for twenty minutes and when I called him he was still at the office, i was so frustrated because I could not risk driving my car , so I called a friend and he came to pick me up within ten minutes. I briefed him of what happened and he told me that it would not be safe to return home and decided to take me to his house . I called my parents who were in Lebanon attending a friend's wedding. My mother was very shocked and scared and she wanted to get on the next flight back. I calmed her down and told her not to worry and that i would be fine. I called my boss and took emergency leave. For two weeks I was a fugitive on the run. I did not go home to see my daughter nor go to work. I was very worried that the police would come to take my precious daughter. I regurlaly called my sisters to check on Tamara.

When my parents came back they convinced me to hand over Tamara and go back to work. I agreed to resume work but wanted to fight for Tamara in the courts. I borrowed a friend's car to go to work so as to be incognito. On the third day at work, sitting on my desk I saw two unfamiliar local guys walking towards me, immediately I knew who they were but it was too late to run. They introduced themselves and asked me to go with them to the station . I called my father to tell him what was going on and I went with them. Upon arrival at the police station,I was told to hand over the baby and I would be released. I was as stubborn as a mule and totally refused I was prepared to stay inside.


My parents and friends were unhappy with my decision and they gave up and went back home. I was put in a cell with three other inmates, each one was there for a different reason and I spent the night chatting with my cell mates. One was in for being drunk, one for a bounced check and the other had multiple charges. After a sleepless night having missed the comfort of my bed, i decided to hand over Tamara. Sara was called to pick up Tamara and we signed documents of handing over the baby and I was released. My family was very excited to see me out. I looked like a real fugitive,dirty and unshaven . I went to shave, took a hot shower and changed into a clean kandora. It was a relief to be home.

Now, I could not forgive Sara , we were at war. I wondered what had happened to our love,the passionate love we had for each other. Was love a passing phase? Short lived,or was it-infatuation or just pure lust? Nobody could do what Sara did to the person she professed to love and the father of her child. Now I was planning my strategy and as advised hired a lawyer. My parents did not have to say it but I could read their minds. They wanted to say "Didn't we tell you not to marry that girl." I was ashamed to look at them. They had not wanted me me to marry Sara and what they feared most, has now happened. How will I get over this? When will I see my Tamara? My head was spinning , everything erupted so suddenly like a volcano. My life was spinning out of control, it was just incredible.